On the Clock

Right now I'm literally on the clock. I took some time out cuz I got really bored reading up on and preparing a report on the research process. It got me thinking though, as usual, I just started contemplating different scenarios and possibilities.

This time I was thinking about working full time. Its not about money, its not about getting to the top, its not about being power hungry and its not about being a hot shot. (hey that rhymed sort of)...The little work experience that I have had, I know I enjoyed it thoroughly. I like being associated with something bigger than me, to particiapte in making things happen, to be productive and useful and of course a paycheck only makes it sweeter. i wonder though that after I stop studying (I was gonna say complete my studies but I still have the teeny tiny desire to study further but not any time soon) so after I stop studying I wonder if I would be able to step into the business world and shake things up. I wonder if i would be able to manage my responsibilites completly. The work-life balance is a tricky one to master and I doubt if I am one to do it well. I would love to tho I mean that would be awesome but both sides are so demanding of your time, energy, and patience. How do these women handle it all? i'm sure they have domestic help something I totally despise (why should i have some poor woman run around and clean up my mess? so what if she's paid to do it?! It just seems i dunno irresponsible and snooty) and I'm sure they feel they're missing out on some things- if they give more time to work they miss out at home and if they take time out for the home they get left back at work. It's a sticky situation. but i keep thinking about how rewarding it would be to work-not just the money the internal satisfaction and pride you feel when you know you've finished something or been a part of something huge (or small). I dunno.. i do know i wanna work i just don't know how i'll manage it all...........