Succession... hmphh

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven...

I don't want his money, or his property, or his belongings- I want him back! It's all his hard work and effort I wish he was still here to use it. Can't we just leave it all the way he left it? I know even Islam gives provisions about inheritance but I just don't want it. I just don't...

Goody-two-shoes

I've never done anything bad.. like something I would regret later.. like something stupid or reckless..something I know i shouldn't do... like... sheesh.. i can't even think of anything bad! I've always been the good girl, the nice quiet sweet girl. now people who know me for real know I'm not exactly that but my image, appearance, and behavior never betray my underlying personality. Sometimes I wish it did. Why am I always thinking of the consequences, forseeing the shitload of trouble I'd get in to or just what people would think of me if I did anything crazy. I guess I'm scared of getting hurt, embarrased or hurting people who care about me... I thought your teen years/ early-twenties was when you could let loose, do whatever, and you would be forgiven your mistakes- taken as an error in judgement. Why have I never thought this way- that mistakes I make now would be/ can be forgiven. I always felt that if I do something wrong, it'll haunt me forever. Man, I hate being sensible...this sucks- I wanna have fun!

Crap

so i just cleaned my room (actually just my dressing table) after about... one year! Dayem! i have a habit of collecting junk cuz i mite need it one day like the little plastic seal that comes off deodorant sticks (haven't found a use for it yet!) or dried up nail polishes (cuz they're too pretty to throw away) or packaging for a mascara that dried up a year ago (umm.. i dunno)

my next target is my desk. that'll be trickier cuz there more 'important' things on my desk like envelopes from last year's (and years before that) Eidis and receipts for the box of pens and gum i bought a few months ago and a few other emo stuff like uboo's blood sugar monitor and the boarding pass for that plane ride to NY which ended in Qatar. Speaking of that trip I still haven't unpacked the suitcase I took with me. It still has his medical reports and his medicines and other necessities in there. It even has a few of my clothes (no wonder i never have anything to wear!). The suitcase still has the blasted Qatar Airlines tag on it with that weird goat-head logo. *sigh* I dunno when I'll get up the nerve to get rid of this stuff. If i can hold on to a gum wrapper which means absolutely nothing to me for more than two years, how long do you think I can hold on to the things I took with me on that fateful trip?... I give myself... about ten years!

Loyal

Even if the sky is falling down?