Shadow

It's sad really, to not be brave enough to get what you want; to linger in the past; to not move forward and be different than what you were before; to be so meek and shy; to not be loud and proud. But I guess it's not your fault, it's nature vs. nurture- your environment brought you down. Whatever spark you might have once had, however dim, never got a chance to shine and was squashed a long time ago. Now there's little chance of moving out of the shadow. I hope and pray you do though, it's just not fair otherwise...

I also want to thank my mommy and daddy who gave me the right push and atmosphere to give me confidence to speak my mind, to make my own choices, to be proud of who I am, and not be afraid of what others might think. I read a quote somewhere- what others think of you is none of your business. Lol it's true I guess, why should I care about what they're saying? I'm never going to please them all so I might as well please myself and my Creator. *sigh* I love my brave mama and daddy, may Allah bless them, I pray to give my baby the same upbringing they gave me and my bro and sis (or even something close to it!)

Big Girls Don't Cry

I was feeling guilty to leave this all behind. I was supposed to be the caretaker and now I'm abandoning it? I also felt proud to be the only one in touch with the family's belongings and through it with our sweet history and memories. But as I sat in my purple room and looked around at my juvenile things- a red hula hoop, my ski bear snow globe, my silly stuffed penguin and other cutesy stuff, I realized I gotta move on. Who is it helping if i hold on to the past? There's no way but forward. Of course I can always come back and relive my carefree days from time to time but now i have to grow up for realz! Not only are we moving but a new life is coming into our lives InshaAllah. I can't be the baby anymore- someone else is taking that position. It's definitely scary but I have faith in my Lord and i have my support system by me. InshaAllah it'll be ok. I'll be brave cuz big girls don't cry.