Happiness

:D

Thank you Allah, I needed it...

Bored

I have things to do- an assignments due tomorrow, stuff from work, stuff at home, i should start studying (midterms start this week!) but here i am facebooking and youtubing. I am the biggest procrastinator you'll ever meet. I know I have all this stuff to do but I'll wait till the last possible second to get it done and in the mean time I'll lounge around totally bored out of my mind looking up random videos and stalking people I hardly know. awesome.

really?

A year and seven months, a whole YEAR and 7 months?! Really? Where did all that time go? Before, every Monday would hurt, then it was every 17^th, now I don’t even realize that a whole month has flown by! You can say I’m healing but I think it’s more of a numbness, a defense; I block out any painful thought but oh whenever any one happens to break through, it hurts like you’ll never know.

And how I miss his presence. When he would come home and the world would feel safe again. When he would laugh at my silliness. When he would give me a hug and a kiss and make me feel like a princess. When he would actually listen to my opinions and make me feel smart. He was a good man, a great father, bless his soul.

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

Artificial Sweetner

I told you I'm not a nice person, I've been trying to tell you I'm not the sweet girl you think I am. I thought my blog posts had conveyed that message, but still you chose not to beleive me. Do you beleive it now? I hate fighting, especially with you, because you're just too important to me. but I guess it was inevitable cuz again, I'm not a nice person. Too bad you had to see this side of me but that's just how I am :/

Not Again

This evil disease has stricken yet another loved one. I don't want another family to go through what we did. It's so awful, the memories are just flooding back, of the struggle, of the constant praying, of the hoping it all turns out ok. The poor man is in hospital now, May Allah give him strength, give his family strength. This is just too heartbreaking.. not again, please not again

WTH?!

Am I a wuss or what?! The painter people painted over all the marks on the walls of the house and i feel like I just lost something. Why am I so emo? It's really annoying sometimes!! I get attached to the silliest things and feel totally empty if I lose them and these are just useless things- like marks on the wall, =S (you don't wanna see me when I lose something or someone important) but then again they're just not marks; they're memories, they've been a part of this house for years and now suddenly they've been wiped clear, as if they were never there. It's hard enough to keep images of our cute little family fresh in my mind, now you go and wipe away the physical remains of it. Great.

At least my room is untouched and I won't allow anyone to move any of Uboo's office stuff in the basement, so don't even ask. His files, his drawers, papers and books, pens and stationary, will stay exactly where he left them as long as I'm around. And I honestly don't give a damn if you think I'm psychotic; that's just how I am, deal with it :P