Memories

tears come so easily. they just emerge so effortlessly and at the slightest mention of him. just one memory, just one nanosecond-long flashback can trigger them -even if its not one of him suffering, its actually happy and warm but the realization that they're all i have left of him, crush my soul and produce this endless river of tears. i wonder if what everyone says is actually true, will it actually get better with time? will my life really become so full and enjoyable that i'll forget about him? isn't forgetting even worse than mourning? i don't want to forget what happened to him and i don't want to stop crying over him so don't expect me to put on a happy face and say everything's fine and if i act as if everything's fine, just know its only a facade.