Tears and typing = healing

I'm trying to remember all that happened this year. 2009. What a roller coaster year this has been. Allah has definitely blessed us with happiness and good fortune but it seems the trials and tribulations overshadow them. I don't mean to sound ungrateful because i know things could be way worse. But I just can't get past all the trauma we've witnessed: hospital visits, biopsies coming back positive, diagnosis: squamous cell carcinoma, surgeries and procedures, chemo, radiation, hair falling, weakness, depression, isolation, fear, IVs, needles, blood tests, x-rays, oxygen masks, doctors telling us to prepare ourselves, our last few days with him in stupid Doha (I'm NEVER going back there again) when he told me not to worry, the plane ride that separated us forever, that one last kiss I blew to my Daddy before they took him away, that evil red box that they carried him away in and then I just remember shock, tears, headaches, stomachaches, restless sleep, worry and prayer. Now I just pray for two things: for his forgiveness and that our lives turn out OK cuz I don't know what's in store for me and what's gonna happen later on. I try not to worry too much about it but i really can't help it. and then weird neighbors come over pretending to be sympathetic but then they say such cruel things in the sweetest tones and you want to get up and smack their stupid faces. Why do they think they know what we're going through? That they're coming over is the highlight of our day? Seriously lady, i don't give a damn about how you spend your day or where your kids go to school. i was having more fun sitting in the dark staring at a blank TV screen! I really don't need your fake sympathy and pats on the head! There now I feel better. This incoherent babbling may not nave made much sense to you but whatever at least i feel better...tears and typing = healing. im gonna need a lot more of that!!!