My Pride

The Philosophy professor said something today that hit me like a brick. He was talking about when something you deeply love, something very dear to you di- (i can't say it) .. passes away, it changes you, it transforms you into something so different you're unrecognizable. He called it a paradigm shift. Knowing that the thing (or person) you cherished is now lying in a deep dark cold grave; you can never be the same. You become humble, more honest, more practical, the world seems a less welcoming place to live; things that once seemed so important that you would devote hours to them now seem trivial and unworthy of your time. The saddest thing he said was that you can't pride over them anymore you have nothing to show to the world now. All that love compassion and emotions that created this pure relationship are gone. It leaves you hollow like some part of you was carved out, chisled away. Thinking about that just made me feel so empty but then I thought WAIT A MINUTE!. I'm still my father's daughter, I still have the love he gave me, i still have his support and encouragement, I still have all he's taught me, I still have him with me maybe not in person but in mind, spirit and heart. So there, you silly old 'lover of wisdom'. You ain't so wise after all! =P